I am not gonna start off with a formal post. I am not gonna type it in sequence and gonna be as random as I can. I am not gonna bother about any kind of mistakes here, be it, spelling, grammatical or whatever shits.
You can pretty much say that I'm banging my head on the keyboard as I'm typing this 24y2bjldaklbdvyasivfsf
I still have a few post in owing, like, I meant to blog it but I took 3 hours and only 1/4 is done. SO LIKE HECK IT.
What can I say about 2011...... I'm pretty sure what thoughts I'm about to type out right now are not my full, complete thought. Basically, 2011 was just a year to go with the flow~ ~ ~ Stay positive. Me and the world. So much so that I cannot remember the things that I've learnt or done. It's just like- blink. Poof. It just went off like that.
2011..... I've met a lot of people, and made many new friends. I wouldn't say that I've lost some friends..... Is it wrong for me to think that I've totally expected how things have turned out right now? I will talk about it in a while later.
Not gonna recap major events that happened, just gonna be random shits right now. I'm just gonna type out what changed me. School life, I'm adapting quite well in poly right now, to the lifestyle and all that. And I'm happy that I'm finding joy in my position. Before that, I was afraid that I would miss secondary school life very badly as the campus lifestyle is totally different. (But that does not mean that I'm not missing it right now, though.) I'm actually still not sure about my place in AMS, but I'm gonna try to excel anyway. I may just choose a different route in a future, I don't know. But I have faith in the future that holds, in the place where God wants me to be in.
Friends...... So poly. At first, it was an alienic environment to be in. Many faces, many strangers, many familiar strangers, like, you see them around often enough to remember their face. And then you'll say hi or maybe smile at some people from your secondary school, which you never did in secondary school before. It's just that, bumping into such people makes the environment much warmer, because they're familiar.
However, I chose to change that and participated in a CCA for the sake of meeting new people, embracing TP to become a more warmer place to be in. And I've never regretted that I'm part of the TP wolves.......... :') I realise that it's the people that gives me the strength to go for training. I would have quit a long time ago if not for the girls I met there : ) Anyway talking about my social life........
I don't know the position I'm in right now.
Sometime in May, I've received a phonecall from Fauzul, him asking me to help him out and be a Group Leader. And that is when my camp spree started. At first, I was super reluctant. Then I just agreed just for the sake of helping him out.
It was a big camp, ESC camp, with only 3 Group Leaders handling up to 50 people..... which is massive. Not to mention, there were Year 1, 2 and 3s in the camp.. And out of the 12 group leaders, there were only two Year 1s.
I was a greenhorn, so he paired me up with Razmi and Zaini (power duo I swear, they're unstoppable) which have much more experience and both SUPER HILARIOUS. So basically, they were the ones hyping up everything and I'm just like in the shadows cheering along. It was, hard, delegating that way. So I just did all those backhand administrative stuffs, and interact individually or in small groups.
And engine school being engine school..... All of them (group leaders and perhaps other sections) knew each other in one way or another, so they were all cracking jokes and laughing..... and i'm just there sitting down and feeling out of place. Tried to find comfort with those who are not that close to them and all.It was weird the first few times...... then I felt okay. So yeah.....
And I felt uncomfortable and felt like I didn't have the courage and quirkiness to just come up with a fun/funny cheer on the spot, when they asked me to cheer infront of everyone. I was prompted a few times, but it was just hard to...... And I just kept turning to the other experienced GLs for help. I felt stressed and like a failure in hyping up.
And yet, I received the 'Best GL' together with Kris, another Year 1. I guess it was just a form of encouragement. But I'm thankful, yet embarrassed knowing inside that it was just some 'consolation'.
However, I managed to talk to and know a few people under my empire. However from the start, some were people whom I knew but barely talk to.... Like Leonil. Hahaha.
But from there, I was wishing that I would never join in camps like these again.
Then, right after ESC camp ended..... a Year 3 under my empire, who just joined the camp for fun, Thiam Boon, talked to me... About being a diploma head for the Oct Orientation. Basically, the job of a diploma head is to facilitate the movement of a group with a walkie talkie and hype up the people a bit. I was given another opportunity to be involved in camps.... however, I was quite reluctant to. I was thinking that i'm gonna be stuck in this vicious cycle in camps. I was too bummed out to attend camps because I'd have to go for meetings and such before the actual camp. He was persuading me, and he did a very good job at it. At first, I can't bear to reject his offer and kept telling him to give me some time. But in the end....... I gave in.
And I can safely say that, I didn't regret it at all..... And I won the best diploma head *ego boost* Despite me..... being anti-social, whatsapping the fb girls most of the time at the corner of the room charging my phone.... and not being like, 'people's favourite' where you can talk to everyone and make everyone laugh, those kinda people you knw? However, it was more deserving, and I felt like I did my job.
Oh and before Oct orientation camp, I went for the SME camp...... because Edmund and Denzel convinced me to go. AND IT WAS GOOD. Nuff said. The theme of it is like clubbing, and all the groups were named after clubs and all hahahahah and my group name was ATTICA.
Okay.... I ended up talking about my experience on camps. My point was to talk about people whom I met in camps. The thing is...... they are fun people. I can talk to them and we can just sit there and laugh. But that is just in the moment kinda thing. Because after the camp, I know that I wouldn't really talk or hang out with them. And that doesn't meet the purpose of 'making new friends'. Isn't friends people you can talk to, hang out with and all? Like, when we're back in school and out of camps, at the most we just say hi to each other and chat a little bit. And then we split ways.
At first, I admit, I was feeling good about seeing many familiar faces and saying hi as I walk down the engine concourse.... And then, awhile later...... I thought. I mean.... sure, if we have the chance and time, I can just sit there and talk to them. But we don't even hang out and such.... so they are not friends right? The relationship is not at all intimate (in a friend way, of course) It's just.... many hi-bye friends. I don't really like that.............
And i've just recently attended this camp called OTC, as a GL. It's a camp to be GLs for the next freshmen orientation camp and workshop. However, this camp is super different from the rest.
FO is like, in April's time? And I'm with this empire, CESTA.
When I went for the OTC interview, I went there just to try out for an interview and at the same time, I really want to experience the camp as I heard that it was damn good and fun. (I signed up for FOC last year, but I gave it a miss then)
But little did I know, there are actually commitments to being a GL in OTC. Being the GL is to give the freshmen the best experience. That is one commitment.
But I never knew that the time from the end of OTC all the way to the start and beyond of FO, each empire would have to go out and bond with each other. Like, to arrange meetups, and just have fun. And from what I heard, if you're more of those reserved people who don't fit well, you'll get kicked out of the whole camp.
So I guess the point is for each and one of us to bond, so much so, that we're bonded enough to give the freshmen a good experience.
And it's like, about 50 GLS handle one empire of 100. Totally different from ESC! (3 vs 50)
No doubt, there'll be cliques in the empire. But I just hope that I could connect to people in the empire..... and eventually make friends that I could keep. They're having outings and such soooo. yeah. I have no clue what's in store for me. As for now, I'm just hanging with this girl, Eveline. She's sort of like, my 'buddy buddy' in the empire. The one I stick with luh. But obviously, we're still not close enough to be friends... and I hope we'll know each other better as time comes. And that applies to the rest of my empire too : ) and also, thank God Huzyer is in my empire too!
I just hope that I won't get outcasted or anything. I don't mean to boast or anything, but I can't deny that I'm quite honoured to receive the best GL for my empire. I was too shocked when Glenda announced my name when she was about to announce the best GL for cesta. Everyone in my empire was chanting Weiwen's name.... because he's seriously an epic hilarious dude who contributes to cesta's cheers and laughter. While, I just... I don't know what I did there. Maybe I just took the initiative to lead cheers a few times. And that moment when I used my butt to think, to attempt to hype up the half dead people in the LT.... I was in fact quite embarrassed that I failed at it. But really. Anyway, there's no such thing as the 'best GL' as I'm pretty sure that everyone has tried to take the initiative one way or another. And there was this 2nd night, the htht night....... where we thrashed talked from 12am-3am. It was because my empire got 4th, which took us by surprise. So the night...... was emotionally charged. Adam, who is like the delegate of the group, gave us a talk to all of us and he was very disappointed.... because he's a year 3, and he should not be the one who's always taking the initiative to lead. However, at one point, he commended me by saying that 'I had 10 balls to lead in the LT of half dead people' and that's something to be commendable about. From there, I just stood up and immediately say what I thought, really. Like, we can't always be relying on people like Adam, and all those who stepped up to lead. All of us are in group leaders, and we are all equal. And at one point, I even insulted our group..... (And I hope that cesta wouldn't hate me for that)
And later on, many other people just stood up and spoke what they thought.... ande people teared and then we all gave each other a hug to encourage ourselves for the last day. THAT is how serious. Maybe it's because we've worked so much, and we just physically and mentally worn ourselves out from the camp.
This shit is serious, really. So yup, I hope that I'll be able to make friends (okay, i sound so despo) and not just like, hi-bye friends.
Okay, this post is more on like, school camps and my life.
Guess I'll post up pictures and blog about other things another day, and guess what, I took 1 hour to type all these out. Time to sleep, to ready myself for school.
Peace out.
